Sarge's Non-Diner

My neighbor, West, forgot his lunch cooler yesterday when he was at my house, so I did the good neighbor thing and froze his freezer-pack thingies, made him a sandwich, and even threw in some grapes and an apple fritter. When he came by to thank me of course the wiseass put in his order for tomorrow. I grinned but after he left I wrote up the menu below and taped it to his door.


Sarge's Non-Diner and Book Emporium

Special Lunch MENU

Mon. Smoked Air (Come stand by our beautiful, rustic porch! Breathe in that second-hand smoke! America like it used to be! Don’t come on the porch, it pisses Bob off.)
$8.00

Tue. Air Sandwich (in which one mimes the eating of a sandwich which ain’t there)
$11,00

Wed. Crumble-bum onna stick (Ask Bob for some crumbs, and he’ll come after you with a stick, shouting “Crumble-bum! Crumble-bum!”
$3.00

Thu. Thursdays we got nothin’. Don’ bother me
$3.00

Fri. Pig-inna-blanket Memories (just lean back and remember the gas you got from pigs-inna-blanket you got down the street)
$6.50

Sat. Ice Cube
$2.25

Sun. Sunday Buffet – you just buffet your skinny ass offa my proppity.

Open 9:00 a.m. – 11:00 p.m. Closed every third week, plus the odd and even weeks in between.