Hunter/Killer of the Hands-On Type

When I was 12 or 13 I went moose hunting for the first time with my Dad and our neighbor. We lived in Alaska, we were cash-poor, and we hunted and fished and crabbed and grew vegetables in order to survive. I had (finally) graduated from garden-drudge to hunter/killer with responsibility for the family larder. It was a clear step toward manhood, increased status in the eyes of the community, and as it was the November season it was an excellent opportunity to freeze my hodingus’es off.

Anyway, Dad and Mr. Danby figured that there were probably moose hiding in a thick stand of alders, so they would circle around and make some noise, and when the moose came out I would shoot them. We set up firing lanes (so as not to shoot the noise making men) and I hunkered down in the snow {Hunker: to lower your redneck ass in preparation for a burst of activity} to wait. Damned if they weren’t right. Four moose came ambling out of the alders and I shot them all. Five shots, four moose down. At $.11 per round, that made the winter red meat supply for two families cost about $.40 a ton. The problem was that there were only three of us, and I had shot four moose. Dad had to whip back into town to get Mom’s moose tag so that all four were legal kills. Mr. Danby supervised me in gutting and skinning and quartering the moose while Dad was gone, then we started the first of many trips pulling a toboggan-load of meat up to the truck.

I hunted every season until I joined the Army and usually got a moose for the table. I also caught halibut on trot lines (although the damned crabs got more of them than I did), salmon and trout, and I worked in a crab cannery so I got to bring king crab home. I ate so much crab that I got sick of it and have never eaten it again. And graduation to hunter/killer didn’t get me out of garden-drudge duty. We had a brutally short growing season but we put up potatoes, carrots, cabbage, beets, broccoli, cauliflower, turnips, and greens every year. And we grew flowers that were gorgeous.

So; good story but what’s the point? Well, my wife, the totally and completely beloved Barbara, was born and raised in Washington, D.C. and knows for a fact that food comes from the supermarket. She fully recognizes that there is a work-for-food requirement in life, but the proper type of working for your supper is assisting the flow of money (while skimming a bit for the effort), or information, the forcible management of other peoples lives via judicial activity, or the manufacturing of one product out of another and the transportation of said product to someone willing to trade work units for it. This life view is common in our society, but to me it makes her functionally a Communist [from each what they can (or what I can take), to each what they need (pretty much), and please stay in your lane]. Of course when I mention this to her she disagrees somewhat forcefully. About 350 MPH forcefully. But it should not surprise you to know that my beloved is a Democrat.

So; good story, but what’s the point? Well, if the government was disrupted to the degree that made it useless to the common family (stop that. We are not already there) and the freeways were unusable due to traffic, lack of maintenance, or because they were free-fire zones (stop that. We are not already there), could you survive? If the supermarkets are burned out or closed or there is no fresh food, can you grow/hunt/kill well enough to feed your family? If you can, you probably vote for the most limited government possible because you don’t need it and it’s damned expensive. Over the past 30 years, that has been the Republican Party, although that principle appears to be in transition right now with an unknown destination. If you cannot, then you probably vote for a more comprehensive government that may not give you the best of items, but does guarantee a basic subsistence level for most folks, in return for a significant portion of individually earned work units from fewer folks. That has been and remains the bailiwick of the Democratic Party, although quite a few Republicans are kicking at the Enormous Goddamned Government door.

So, good story, but what’s the point? Well, if you live in the coastal areas of the United States, there is very limited land in which to hunt or grow enough food to feed even a small minority of the people living there. More useable land is available as you travel inland from the coastal areas, increasing in availability as the population decreases. So you have coastal populations who depend on government to maintain the flow of fresh food and vote mostly Democrat. And you have the interior populations who provide the food and depend on the government to interfere with the growth, preparation, and transportation of that food while taking money from them to give to poor but active voters in the coastal regions, and these hunter/killer/grower folks vote mainly Republican.  There is a basic survival lesson there. Think about it, because when it comes time for the quiz, it’s gonna be a mother bear.