OH SH..Thud

Well I was driving down the road one day
Tryin’ to sing a little higher
An 18-wheeler just up the road
Pitched a rock between its tires
And as I watched it float

I said them two words
what sum up The situation most

“OH SH..thud” shattered glass and brakes
That’s 300 bucks that I don’t own
And glass all o’er the seat
I stopped my truck and sat there
Thinkin’ about my luck

I guess them two words can best describe
Why it just ain’t worth a (fuck) darn

OH SH..thud – that mortar in Iraq
That blew my birthday iPod up and
Put steel in my (ass) back
And how the fellows laughed at me
When I got my Purple Heart
‘cause I ain’t sat down for three long weeks
Maybe it will help me start

I came home to find my girlfriend
Sleeping with my bud
I got my butt up on my shoulders
And then it was SH..Thud
He broke my nose and cracked two ribs
Without even getting up
But when I came back with the 2x4
All he said was “OH SH..Thud”

So I spent three months on the county farm
Never saw that girl again
My assignment to the States was gone
Not for someone from the pen

They busted me down to PFC
And sent my ass straight back
I’ve lost my birthday iPod
But I damn sure found Iraq

And so it goes, my buddy drove
The Humvee back to base
He drove over an old garbage sack
And it blew us into space
As I was goin’ out I heard my buddy holler
‘Look out Oh Mom hang on there, bud'
Then the biggest noise I ever heard
and me -
'OH SH..Thud’

No buddy, no left leg
No money comin up
Just two words sing my life today
OH SH..Thud
copyright April 2006 RM Whiteside

Update: The totally and completely beloved Barbara didn't like this poem/song. She said it's depressing, and she thinks it was a cathartic outpouring from my combat days. I think it's an oldfartic outpouring from a gimpy old soldier. We're probl'y both right.